赖斯翻译批评模式下对《木兰诗》三个英译版本的对比赏析

    孟宗慧

    摘要： 著名翻译学家赖斯提出的翻译批评模式，为翻译批评与赏析提供了新视角。基于赖斯提出的模式，作者试图从文本类型和语言要素两方面对《木兰诗》三个不同英译版本进行赏析，通过对比可以看出，汪榕培、许渊冲及汉什·H·弗兰克尔（Han H. Frankel）的译作各有其特点，值得学习借鉴。

    关键词： 木兰诗;翻译批评模式;对比赏析;文本类型;语言要素

    中图分类号：A? 文献标识码：A? 文章编号：（2021）-20-437

    一、文本介绍

    《木兰诗》又称《木兰辞》，是一首北朝民歌，宋郭茂倩《乐府诗集》归入《横吹曲辞·梁鼓角横吹曲》中。这是一首长篇叙事诗，讲述了一个叫木兰的女孩，女扮男装，替父从军，在战场上杀敌立功，回朝后不愿做官，只求回家团聚的故事，热情赞扬了木兰勇敢善良的品质、保家卫国的热情和英勇无畏的精神。该诗以人物问答及铺陈、排比、对偶、互文等手法描述人物情态，刻画人物心理，生动细致，神气跃然，使作品具有强烈的艺术感染力。《木兰诗》与《孔雀东南飞》合称为乐府双璧，在文学界有着较高的地位。

    二、赖斯的翻译批评模式

    （一）文本类型分析

    赖斯认为，一般意义上的翻译，文本的类型决定翻译方法，是影响译者采取某种翻译方法的主要因素。赖斯将文本类型分为四种，分别是重内容的信息型文本（content-focused/infor-mative type），重形式的表达型（form-focused/expressive type），重呼吁的说服型文本（appeal-focused/operative type）以及视听文本（audio-medial type）。根据赖斯的文本类型说，诗歌属于重形式的文本，作者不仅通过文字内容，更通过语言形式来表达自己的情感。作者往往将内容和形式有机结合，通过形式表达更多的内容，来达到特殊的美学效果。重形式的表达型文本的这种特点就要求译者在保留原文内容的基础上，尽可能多地保留原作的形式。因此在翻译中，赖斯将这类型的文本定义为重原文的文本（source language -oriented text），赖斯认为此类型文本的翻译译者宜采取直译的翻译方法，尽量保留原文的语言形式。

    （二）语言因素分析

    赖斯将语言因素具体划分为四个部分，分别为语义要素（semantic elements）译文中的词汇意义是否与原文对等;词汇要素（lexical elements）—译文中的词汇是否充分表达了原文词汇所要表达的意义;语法要素（grammatical elements）;译文语法是否正确，风格要素（stylistic elements）—译文是否再现了原文的语言风格，是否体现了作家的写作特点。下面本文从标题和各小节的翻译对汪榕培、许渊冲及汉什·H·弗兰克尔（Han H. Frankel）的译作内容进行具体分析。

    三、对诗歌标题的翻译分析

    对诗歌名《木兰诗》的翻译，汪榕培、许渊冲及汉什·H·弗兰克尔（Han H. Frankel）的翻译各有不同，汪榕培先生将标题翻译为The Mulan Ballad，ballad这个单词的英文释义是：a poem or song narrating a story in short stanzas. Traditional ballads are typically of unknown authorship， having been passed on orally from one generation to the next as part of the folk culture。许渊冲先生将标题译为Song of Mulan，汉什·H·弗兰克尔（Han H. Frankel）先生将标题译为Ode of Mulan。Ode这个单词的英文释义是：a lyric poem in the form of an address to a particular subject， often elevated in style or manner and written in varied or irregular meter。《木兰诗》是一首民歌，长篇叙事诗，所以汪榕培先生和許渊冲先生的用词较为准确，而汉什·H·弗兰克尔（Han H. Frankel）使用的单词ode则不太符合诗歌的文体。

    四、对诗歌具体内容英译的分析

    例一：唧唧复唧唧，木兰当户织。

    不闻机杼声，唯闻女叹息。

    问女何所思？问女何所忆？

    女亦无所思，女亦无所忆。

    汪榕培先生将其翻译为：

    Alas oh alas！ Alas oh alas！

    Mulan is weaving cloth of topmost class.

    Listen and you don't hear the spinning drone;

    You only hear the maiden sigh and moan.

    "Good lass， what thought has occupied your mind？

    Good lass， what thought can you not leave behind？"

    "I've nothing that has occupied my mind;

    I've nothing that I cannot leave behind.

    许渊冲先生将其翻译为：

    Alack，alas！ Alack， alas！

    She weaves and sees the shuttle pass.

    You cannot hear the shuttle， why？

    Its whir is drowned in her deep sigh.

    "Oh， what are you thinking about？

    Will you tell us？ Will you speak out？"

    "I have no worry on my mind，

    Nor have I grief of any kind.”

    汉什·H·弗兰克尔将其翻译为：

    Tsiek tsiek and again tsiek tsiek，

    Mu-lan weaves， facing the door.

    You don't hear the shuttle's sound，

    You only hear Daughter's sighs.

    They ask Daughter who's in her heart，

    They ask Daughter who's on her mind.

    “No one is on Daughter's heart，

    No one is on Daughter's mind.”

    “木兰当户织。”这句的文言文翻译是“木兰对着房门织布。”汪先生与许先生都侧重于翻译“织布”这个动作，而省译了“当户”，弗兰克尔先生则将“当户”译成了“facing the door”。虽然说，省译了“当户”并不会对原文的理解产生影响，但是弗兰克尔先生的翻译则更加符合赖斯对于诗歌翻译应符合原文的语言形式的主张。“不闻机杼声，唯闻女叹息。问女何所思？问女何所忆？女亦无所思，女亦无所忆。”汪先生，许先生和弗兰克尔先生都将这几句处理得对仗工整，但是对于“女”这个词，弗兰克尔先生将其翻译为“daughter”，这是不准确的，“女”在文中不是指“女儿”，而是仅仅指“女孩”。

    例二：昨夜见军帖，可汗大点兵，

    军书十二卷，卷卷有爷名。

    阿爷无大儿，木兰无长兄，

    愿为市鞍马，从此替爷征。

    汪榕培先生将其翻译为：

    I saw the new recruiting lists last night;

    The Khan is summoning the men to fight.

    The twelve lists are literally the same;

    In every list there is my father's name.

    My dad does not have any grown-up son;

    I have no elder brother to carry the gun.

    I'll go and buy a stalwart（loyal， reliable， and hardworking.） horse and pad

    So as to go to battle for my dad."

    许渊冲先生将其翻译为：

    I read the battle roll last night;

    The Khan has ordered men to fight.

    The roll was written in twelve books;

    My father's name was in twelve nooks.

    My father has no grown-up son，

    For elder brother I have none.

    I'll get a horse of hardy race

    And serve in my father's place."

    汉什·H·弗兰克尔将其翻译为：

    Last night I saw the draft posters，

    The Khan is calling many troops，

    The army list is in twelve scrolls，

    On every scroll there's Father's name.

    Father has no grown-up son，

    Mu-lan has no elder brother.

    “I want to buy a saddle and horse，

    And serve in the army in Father's place.”

    “昨夜見军帖，可汗大点兵。”汪先生将其译为“I saw the new recruiting lists last night;The Khan is summoning the men to fight.”在汪先生的译本中“军帖”译作“recruiting lists”。“recruit”的英文释义为：“enlist （someone） in the armed forces.”符合文义且生动形象。许先生将这句译作“I read the battle roll last night;The Khan has ordered men to fight.”“军帖”译作了“the battle roll”，突出了战争的环境。相比于前面两位译者，弗兰克尔先生将这个词译为“the draft posters”。“draft”的英文释义是“a preliminary version of a piece of writing.”由原文可知，军帖已经发布出来了，所以并不是初步的方案或计划，因此，“draft”这个词在此处用得并不恰当，与原文意义不对等。对于“愿为市鞍马”这一句，此句译为白话文则是“愿意为此到集市上去买马鞍和马匹。”许渊冲先生将此句译为“I'll get a horse of hardy race”，并未将“马鞍”翻译出来是为漏译。

    例三：朝辞爷娘去，暮宿黄河边。

    不闻爷娘唤女声，但闻黄河流水鸣溅溅。

    旦辞黄河去，暮至黑山头。

    不闻爷娘唤女声，但闻燕山胡骑鸣啾啾。

    汪榕培先生将这几句译为：

    She leaves her dearest parents by daylight，

    And stays by the Yellow River for the night.

    She can no longer hear her parents' sound，

    But only hears the rushing flood around.

    She leaves the Yellow River by daylight.

    Arrives at Mount Heishan at early night.

    She can no longer hear her parents' sound;

    She only hears the Tartar steeds around.

    许渊冲先生将这几句译为：

    At dawn she leaves her parents by the city wall;

    At dusk she reaches Yellow River shore.

    All night she listens for old folk's familiar call，

    But only hears the Yellow River's roar.

    At dawn she leaves the Yellow River shore;

    To mountains Black she goes her way.

    At night she hears old folk's familiar voice no more，

    But only on north mountains Tartar horses neighs.

    汉什·H·弗兰克尔先生将这几句译为：

    At dawn she takes leave of Father and Mother，

    In the evening camps on the Yellow River's bank.

    She doesn't hear the sound of Father and Mother calling，

    She only hears the Yellow River's flowing water cry tsien tsien.

    At dawn she takes leave of the Yellow River，

    In the evening she arrives at Black Mountain.

    She doesn't hear the sound of Father and Mother calling，

    She only hears Mount Yen's nomad horses cry tsiu tsiu.

    對于“不闻爷娘唤女声，但闻黄河流水鸣溅溅。”，许先生对这句话的翻译是：All night she listens for old folk's familiar call，But only hears the Yellow River's roar.“roar”这个词生动形象地将黄河波涛汹涌的情景展现出来，用词巧妙。而弗兰克尔先生将其翻译为“She doesn't hear the sound of Father and Mother calling，She only hears the Yellow River's flowing water cry tsien tsien.”这个翻译运用了拟人手法，“cry”这个单词表现出黄河也为木兰替父从军，远离家乡和亲人而感到悲伤。拟声词“tsien tsien”的使用将黄河水声形象地展示了出来，富有画面感，更能引起读者共鸣。

    例四：万里赴戎机，关山度若飞。

    朔气传金柝，寒光照铁衣。

    将军百战死，壮士十年归。

    汪先生将这几句译为：

    She goes for miles and miles to join the war，

    And crosses hills and valleys with the crops.

    The northern wind resounds the watchmen's hail;

    The chilly moon shines on their coats of mail.

    Countless men die on the battlefields.

    While other men return with swords and shileds.

    许先生将这几句译为：

    For miles and miles the army march along

    And cross the mountain barriers as in flight.

    The northern wind has chilled the watchman's gong，

    Their coat of mail glistens in wintry light.

    In ten years they've lost many captains strong，

    But battle-hardened warriors come back in delight.

    弗兰克尔先生将这几句译为：

    She goes ten thousand miles on the business of war，

    She crosses passes and mountains like flying.

    Northern gusts carry the rattle of army pots，

    Chilly light shines on iron armor.

    Generals die in a hundred battles，

    Stout soldiers return after ten years.

    “朔气传金柝，寒光照铁衣。”这两句译为白话文是：北方的寒气中传来打更声，月光映照着战士们的铠甲。汪先生对这两句的翻译是“The northern wind resounds the watchmen's hail;The chilly moon shines on their coats of mail.”“hail”的英文释义为“expressing greeting or acclaim.”与文义明显不符，没有真正的理解文义。许先生对这两句的翻译是：The northern wind has chilled the watchman's gong.Their coat of mail glistens in wintry light.“金柝”意为：刁斗。古代军中用的一种铁锅，白天用来做饭，晚上用来报更。而“gong”的英文释义是“a metal disk with a turned rim， giving a resonant note when struck.”，中文释义为“锣”。虽然在古代锣就是用来打更的，但是“锣”与“金柝”存在很大区别，故用词并不恰当。“将军百战死，壮士十年归。”这两句的白话文意思是：将士们身经百战，有的为国捐躯，有的转战多年胜利归来。而许先生直接将“将军”译为“captain”，将“壮士”译为“battle-hardened warriors”。这虽然符合赖斯对于诗歌翻译应采取直译手法的主张，但是却与文本的实际理解出入较大，因为胜利凯旋的不只有士兵也会有将军，所以汪先生和弗兰克尔先生对这两句的翻译更贴近原文。

    例五：归来见天子，天子坐明堂。

    汪先生对这两句的翻译是：Mulan receives an audience from the Khan，Who makes a huge grant to the valiant “man.”许渊冲先生对这两句的翻译是：Back they have their audience with the Khan in the hall，

    Honors and gifts are lavished on warriors all.弗兰克尔先生对这两句的翻译是：On her return she sees the Son of Heaven，The Son of Heaven sits in the Splendid Hall.弗兰克尔先生直接将“天子”直译为“the Son of Heaven”，这其实是对中国传统文化不够了解所致。“天子”其实就是上文提到的“可汗”， 也就是古代的君王，所以汪先生和许先生对这两句的翻译较好。

    例六：爷娘闻女来，出郭相扶将。

    这两句的白话文意思是：父母听说女儿回来了，互相搀扶着到城外迎接她。汪先生将这两句译为：On hearing that Mulan will soon be home，Her parents leave the courtyard arm in arm.弗兰克尔先生将这两句翻译为：When Father and Mother hear Daughter is coming，They go outside the wall to meet her， leaning on each other.他們二人分别用“arm in arm”及“leaning on each other”表达出“扶将”这个动作。而许先生将这两句译为：Hearing that she has come，Her parents hurry to meet her at city gate.许先生虽然使用“hurry”这个词表现出父母听到女儿回来时急于想见到她的心情，但是却没有将父母年迈，需要搀扶的情景展现在译作中，确实有些可惜。

    例七：当窗理云鬓，对镜贴花黄。

    汪先生对这两句的翻译是：She stands by windows doing her long hair.And faces mirrors painting her brows fair.许先生对这两句的翻译是：Before the window she arranges her hair.And in the mirror sees her image fair.弗兰克尔先生对这两句的翻译是：Facing the window she fixes her cloudlike hair.Hanging up a mirror she dabs on yellow flower powder.

    这两句的白话文翻译是：当着窗子，对着镜子整理漂亮的头发，对着镜子在面部贴上装饰物。“花黄”是指一种面部装饰物。弗兰克尔先生将其译为“yellow flower powder”则与文义不符，没有准确传达出原文词汇的意思。

    五、结语

    汪榕培、许渊冲、弗兰克尔三人都对《木兰诗》进行了翻译，三者的翻译各具特色也各有优劣。汪先生的译文多为直译，贴近原文，重视传达文章的主要意思。许先生则在重视贴近原文意思的同时也注重译文的美感，但诗歌的某些部分却没有翻译出来。弗兰克尔先生善用拟声词，使得译文富有画面感，生动形象，但是由于不太熟悉中国文化，所以对一些诗句的处理欠妥，用词错误。通过对比，揭示出正确理解目的语文化与目的语词汇意义对于恰当准确的翻译目的语文本十分重要。通过对各版本的译文进行赏析，可以学到许多不同的翻译策略和翻译方法，提高翻译水平。

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