| 标题 | 高考考生英语作文中出现的四个主要问题及对策 |
| 范文 | 朱敏 2019年高考评卷工作已落下帷幕。今年的全国I卷英语作文依然是一篇书信体作文，并且沿用了2017年以来的命题思路，即以某个中华优秀传统文化元素为切入点，要求考生以李华的身份写一封书信或者电子邮件。 2019年高考全国Ⅰ卷书面表达题有三个特点： 1. 融入中华优秀传统文化元素，即中国画; 2. 彰显文化自信，中国画展开到伦敦去了; 3. 开放性，第二、三个要点提示语言有限，留给考生的发挥空间很大。 这是一篇要求考生发挥自己的想象力和创造力，用100个词左右展示自己思维和英语写作功底的书信体作文。看似简单，在评卷过程中，却发现考生们在审题、用词、处理要点信息等方面暴露出了较严重的问题。在本文中，笔者将结合在评卷过程中发现的典型问题，有针对性地提出一些有效的对策，并且呈现两篇高考评卷现场满分作文，以此帮助大家更好地备考和复习。问题一：对重点词汇的使用不熟练。 以下是从考生作文中摘抄下来的几个原句，代表了评卷中发现的三类典型错误： 1. 单词拼写错误。如： 错句：I have heard that you are in need of some vilanteers. 更正：I have heard that you are in need of some volunteers. 2. 词语搭配错误。如： 错句：I am writing to apply it. 更正：I am writing to apply for it. 错句：I can do many useful things such as introduce the history and development of Chinese paintings. 更正：I can do many useful things such as introducing the history and development of Chinese paintings. 3. 詞性错误。如： 错句：I would appreciate it a lot if you could take my applicant into consideration. 更正：I would appreciate it a lot if you could take my application into consideration. 4. 用词表述不准确。如： 错句：The local art club will hold a show of Chinese paintings. 更正：The local gallery/art museum will hold a show of Chinese paintings. 错句：You are looking for some volunteers for the display of Chinese pictures. 更正：You are looking for some volunteers for the exhibition/show of Chinese paintings. 应考对策 1. 关注高频、重点词汇的词性转换，做到会拼、会写。尤其重视用于交代写作目的词语的变形和用法，如：apply， applicant， application（申请）;invite， invitation（邀请）;apologize， apology（道歉）;recommend， recommendation（推荐）;advise， advice（建议）;suggest， suggestion（建议）;complain， complaint（投诉）;congratulate， congratulation（祝贺）;appreciate， appreciation;gratitude， grateful（感谢）。 2. 按照话题与功能意念学习和归纳写作词块。例如，在文学艺术这个话题下的写作词汇就包括了：poetry，poem（2016年I卷），drama， fiction， novel，literature， novelist， architecture， exhibition， gallery， master， sculpture， museum of art等。如果按照话题记忆了这些单词，在写2016年和今年的作文时，考生们很快就能准确地用英语表达“诗歌”“美术馆”和“展览会”。 3. 总结和归纳与中华优秀传统文化各种元素相关的表达方式，将它们背熟记牢。例如：中国画-Chinese paintings;唐诗-the Tang poems; 中国书法-Chinese calligraphy; 茶文化-tea culture; 京剧艺术-Beijing Opera art; 建筑艺术- architectural art;端午节-the Dragon Boat Festival;吃粽子-eat rice dumplings; 中秋节-the Mid-autumn Festival; 吃月饼-eat mooncakes;夜间赏月-admire the moon at night;春节-the Spring Festival; 在除夕之夜-on New Years Eve; 拜年- pay a new years visit to our relatives or friends; 家人团聚吃大餐-family members get together and have a big meal; 放鞭炮-set off firecrackers。 问题二：顾此失彼，漏掉了信息要点。 部分考生在审题时，不够细致，以致于漏掉了首段的“自我介绍”这一信息要点。很多考生在描述第二和第三个信息要点时，思维不够细致、清晰，将两个信息要点交织在一起写，在两者之间纠缠不清、顾此失彼，令评卷老师很难认为其完整地完成了写作任务。以下就是一个典型的例子： I am more than happy that a traditional exhibition of Chinese paintings will be held in the local art museum this summer. Knowing that you are in need of some volunteers for it， Im writing to apply for the job. My personal advantages are as follows. First and foremost， so kind and warm-hearted am I that I do think that I can do this job well. Secondly， having a great knowledge of Chinese paintings is my individual advantage. As a Chinese student， Im keen on Chinese traditional things especially paintings. Moreover， I have adequate time since I will be free this summer vocation. Last but not least， if I got the job， I would serve visitors heart and soul. Not only will I guide them but also I explain the paintings for them. I will be very grateful if you can give me the chance. Surely you wont regret it. 这是一篇由考生临场写出的作文，初看上去结构分明、层次清晰，没有语法错误，当时呈现出的手写卷面也相当不错，俨然是一篇高分作文。然而，在对照题目仔细阅读该文之后，我们很快发现该考生漏掉了“自我介绍”这一要点。很明显，这封申请信的写信人和收信人并不认识，根据交际原则，写信人李华需要亮明自己的身份。除此之外，在进行中间主体段写作时，单从内容上讲，该考生的确既写了自己的优势，也说明了自己能做的事。但是，其用了总分结构，总括性的词语为advantages， 接下来分四个层次展开，分别使用了衔接过渡词first and foremost， secondly， moreover 和last but not least。由于后面四个层次都是在“优势”下展开的，因此只能认定其写了“优势”，而漏掉了“自己能做的事”这一信息要点。 应考对策： 1. 在审题时，根据交际原则，将需要告知对方的信息划下划线，并逐一标记①②③…顺序号。在行文时，务必将所有需要交代的信息要点，描述清楚、写到位。 2. 首段的内容一般有两个，即自我介绍和写作目的。如果双方是朋友关系等，不需要做自我介绍;如果双方不是熟人，则需要自我介绍，给出自己的身份及想要做的事。具体句型可以使用：I am Li Hua， a Chinese student who ... 3. 在写某一要点时，亮出证明你提及该要点的关键词或者词组。例如：优势-advantage/merit/edge;好处-benefit;能做的事-what I can do/things that I can do are as follows;原因-reason;建议-advice/suggestion;细节-detail;详细信息-detailed/specific information;品质-quality;介绍-introduction。问题三：要点内容交代不具体、没有说服力，未达成交际目的。 一些考生在进行第二和第三个要点时，仅仅写了自己有很有多优势或者自己能做很多有益于画展的事，而没有就“优势”和“能做的事”具体展开写，这样的写法没有达成交际目的，得分很低。还有的考生在描述“优势”和“能做的事”时，写到自己热爱学习、成绩很突出和尊老愛幼等等，这些内容都是没有说服力的。作为一封申请信，考生应该阐述最有信服力的优势和条件，让对方给自己做志愿者的机会。 应考对策： 1. 审题时，站在收信人的角度看是否达成了交际目的，所写内容是否有效; 2. 要使内容具体化，可以多练习一些特定的写作句式和结构。例如： Below are the ... that I ... For one thing， ... For another， ... Not only ... but also ... 如要点“优势”可以这样写： Below are my advantages which/that I think will help you （to）make up your mind to give me a chance. For one thing， I havea good command of English， which makes it easy for me to communicate with British friends. For another， as an outgoing and easy-going girl， I once worked as a volunteer in many international activities. 要点“能做的事”可以这样写： When it comes to what I can do for the show， not only am I able to introduce the works as a guide since I am a big lover of Chinese paintings， but also I can help keep order if there are too many visitors. 满分作文展示： 满分1： Dear Sir/Madam， I am Li Hua， a Chinese student studying in London this summer vacation. Learning that an exhibition regarding Chinese paintings is going to be held in your gallery， Im writing in the hope that I could be a part of it as a volunteer. Below are the advantages that I have over others. For one thing， not only can I speak both Chinese and English fluently but also I can express myself accurately. For another， I have a good knowledge of Chinese traditional art. Considering my advantages， there is no doubt that I am able to act as a qualified volunteer to guide the visitors and interpret the exhibits clearly. I promise that you will be satisfied if you give me the chance. I would appreciate it a lot if you could take my application into account. Looking forward to your early response. Best regards， Li Hua 满分2： Dear Sir or madam： I am Li Hua， a Chinese student furthering my study in London this summer. Hearing that your gallery is recruiting some volunteers for the exhibition of Chinese paintings， I am writing to apply for the job vacancy. Not only am I familiar with Chinese culture， but also I show great interest in art like Chinese paintings. Besides， I own the ability to learn quickly. Apart from my main personal edges I mentioned above， below are the things that I can handle. For one thing， I am able to make clear to visitors what the art work has revealed. For another， keeping the public order under control is the task that I can fulfill. By the way， visitors will be reminded that they should avoid using flashlights if I am one of the volunteers. I am convinced that I am qualified to become an outstanding volunteer. I would appreciate it a lot if you take my application into consideration. Best regards， Li Hua 責任编辑 蒋小青 |
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